Author's name :: Burraku_Pansa
The Link :: Chapter one
Chapter two
Chapter three
Genre :: Adventure, Light Comedy
Critique requested :: Opinion on likelihood of getting to EQD; Basic
spelling, punctuation and format run through; Style, characterisation,
themes and plot (not that kind).
Anything Else :: The first thing you're likely to notice is that the
beginning of every chapter is told through pure dialogue with no narration.
This is purposeful, and is supposed to give the sense of the intro events
taking place far off and inconsequentially, with the characters as little
more than voices in the dark. In these areas in particular, I would like to
be told if, at any point, the characterization or context is too weak for
you to be able to tell who is speaking.
Beyond that, in the 'normal' parts of the story, I'd like to hear what
needs work, and what you think I've done well. Thank you in advance for
your time.
Number Of Distinct Docs Submitted :: 3
Notes :: Don't worry. The links are to Gdocs. I'm just getting tired of the messiness of linking a link.
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