Showing

Blatant copy/pasta from my previous post.

Showing is a form of writing, one that allows the reader to immerse him/herself into the story and to visualize the world that the author is creating. Because of the powerful impact that it has, and the incredible ability to aid in storytelling, showing has become one of the most powerful tools at an author’s disposition. So much so, that a lack of show, will usually be denied. So, how do you “show” in fiction. You can’t post images, or picture diagrams or sketches. You need to paint with words. For obvious reasons this can be difficult.


Telling (in regards to fiction) is the act of writing part by part what’s going on, for example:

“Applejack went to Sweet Apple Acres. She was afraid and in a panic”

I just told you something. It’s simple, concise and easy to understand. Unfortunately, it’s far from immersive, nor is it really interesting. There’s no atmosphere, or feeling or emotion, it’s raw, worthy of an outline perhaps, but not an entire story.


“Applejack ran towards the quickly approaching barn, the red edifice glowing in the afternoon sun. She panted, exerting herself as her hooves struck the ground with thundering blows.”

That one was a little showy. Note how it has a lot more feeling to it, you can almost feel that Applejack is in a hurry, or that she is panicking. And yet, it covers the same material. Showing is always better than telling, but that does not mean that telling has no place in fiction.  Telling can be used for quick transitions, or blatant exposition. And in the end, Showing is telling, but indirectly.



Now, I know you guys want to know exactly how to show. So here’s a few (and by that I mean two) methods.



First, imagine the scene. No, I don’t mean like an outline, ‘this happens, then that, the she says this...’. Immerse yourself in it, imagine yourself there. Look at the characters, the world around them, note the smaller details your mind conjures up. Writers and readers have six senses use them.

--Sight. What you can see, this is where most writing is done. Use sun, moon, lighting and colours to your advantage, show what’s going on.

--Hearing. Basically all sounds, dialogue isn’t part of this, unless a tone is added (she squeaked, hollered...ect). This includes parts of the environment. Outside? Are birds chirping? Foals playing? A fire crackling?

--Smell. Rarely used, which is unfortunate, it can have quite an effect on the reader. Covers all odours, things you could smell, from the cloying smell of garden flowers, the thick smoke of spent gunpowder to the twingy, copper-like smell of blood.

--Taste. This one is fairly hard to use, simply because the character has to put something in its mouth. Still, it’s a valid sense. Pickled eggs have a very different taste than a hay sandwich.

--Touch. Another that is overlooked. Make your character touch things, feel them. Objects all have their own textures and readers can easily relate to this. Cold and warmth are also part of this, as is temperature.

--And finally, thought. Yes, thoughts are a sense, not in the real world, but in fiction they are as important as any of the rest. In first person, this is easy, and it’s almost a must. In non-omnipresent third, it’s a little tougher. You can reach it via dialogue or body language. A pony that’s leaning forward, face red with a huge frown on their face isn’t having happy thoughts. One that is leaned back, with a small, contented smile on its lips might be.

The general rule of thumb is to use all five within every thousand words. That will really immerse the reader, and it’s also an effective method of showing.


The second tip I want to give is a bit of a cheat, and that means that I use it all the time.


Instead of outright telling:

"Twilight punched Spike. He flew backwards and crashed into Stephan Magnet."


Tell the reader of the consequences or effects on the environment of each action:

"Twilight’s hoof flew forward, rending the air until it impacted with Spike’s face with a sickening crunch. The tiny green and purple dragon flew into the air, shrieking in pain as he vaulted across the ground. Behind Spike’s tumbling form, Stephan Magnet’s eyes widened, but he didn’t move until Spike crashed into him with a dull thud."

I just used tell, three times. About little, unimportant thing. But together and arranged in the right order, it looks as if I’m showing you a scene. Apply this trick with the one above (using sense) and you can actually get away with quite a bit.


The amount of showing and the depth of the details depend upon prose, and the writer (context too)