To Serve to Aid to Love and to Tolerate
Um, why is the title different?
Um.... Because I went by memory... Also never capitalize 'the,it,is,at,they...' in a title. the only other change is that I used her full name... sorry.
Oh, and activate the comments please... (Under share...)
Ok, comments are active.
Mini run through complete. Read the entire thing then edited about 1/4th. MyBoyJ. go in there, fix up what I pointed out (and then you that to fix the rest) I'll go back after and comb through again for the smaller things!Story 4/5Execution 3/5Characters4/5Details 2/5Immersion 3/5Action 4/5We're gonna get it all to the 5/5 mark alright!
Um, why is the title different?
ReplyDeleteUm.... Because I went by memory... Also never capitalize 'the,it,is,at,they...' in a title. the only other change is that I used her full name... sorry.
DeleteOh, and activate the comments please... (Under share...)
DeleteOk, comments are active.
ReplyDeleteMini run through complete. Read the entire thing then edited about 1/4th.
ReplyDeleteMyBoyJ. go in there, fix up what I pointed out (and then you that to fix the rest) I'll go back after and comb through again for the smaller things!
Story 4/5
Execution 3/5
Characters4/5
Details 2/5
Immersion 3/5
Action 4/5
We're gonna get it all to the 5/5 mark alright!