Friday, 9 March 2012

My little Broly

No G-Docs this time, so not a complete edit, but just a simple long review... Have fun!

Oh and the Off-KEY post has a link to chapter two now!

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/7068/My-Little-Broly

7 comments:

  1. Sorry, earlier before didn't have time to convert it to GDocs. I'll toss the links here (comments enabled), and sorry again.

    https://docs.google.com/document/d/13BKG-MGJGqwxcUR6Iz5_-FEqIyf0jEYUS-ALfGtlZAE/edit (Chapter 1)

    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1eRHxgzzIpUyobuw6NFkU286GFhmp3FgV7lDu_Dpcnw0/edit (Chapter 2)

    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Etm28P30doQzu4SDNYUcdFSF59UUoxF5Tkax_xEb-4I/edit (Chapter 3)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ALRIGHT! Sorry that I have so much to do. Homework and all, but it won't take long! I'll get to your fic in a day or so. Meanwhile, someone else's gotta help ya. I'll see if anyone can.


      Also:

      (Chapter 1)

      (Chapter 2)

      (Chapter 3)

      Compliticated HTML stuff. XD

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    2. Complicated indeed. *banging my head against the wall* XD

      Thank you.

      Delete
    3. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1pgD1ksDPts56-ZJ5_WLqjXSFv5eFnE2axC77AES4GlI/edit

      commented first two pages by deRock because derp

      Delete
  2. Okay, first WALLS OF TEXT> please fix.

    Also, I'd suggest adding another pre-chapter (prequal?) to explain the DBZ world (I now nothing of it)

    Almost no showing. that needs to be fixed. (Almost all tell.)

    and... I'll be back later...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you should explain more, how much approx. would be considered a wall of text. And what ya mean by "show, don't tell." I was really confused when I first heard that phrase. XD In fact, I'm still not 100% sure what it means.

      Delete